My DH let his life insurance lapse. There would be no money.
My face lost all color and I was in complete shock. For years, I'd joked that he can burn the candle at both ends, just make sure the life insurance was paid for. When money was tight, at least if he'd died, I'd have the life insurance to get back on my feet.
One of the classes I teach includes Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' stages of grief:
- Denial
- Bargaining
- Anger
- Depression
- Acceptance
Of all the stages, I like anger best. Anger makes you MOVE. It makes you act. Depression is great if you just want to lie around and feel sorry for yourself. Ah...but anger...
It turns out I'd find more than the life insurance debacle to get mad about.
Hi! Saw your posts and thought I'd reach out. I, too, became a widow after my husband suffered a sudden heart attack. I had lost both my parents prior, but this is a different experience...
ReplyDeleteDo you agree with the five stages of grief. While I have experience anger, depression and brief flashes of acceptance, I'm wondering if the first two phases are more for individuals who have either been told that they -- or their loved one -- has a terminal illness. In other words, time for reflection of the event.
Just wondering your thoughts. I've studied Kubler-Ross myself, but haven't been able to see the applicability in its entirety.
Many blessings for you and your family during this difficult journey.
Susan
Even Kubler-Ross said that the stages are experienced differently by different people. I agree that losing someone the fast way (like a heart attack) versus the slow way (like cancer) doesn't allow acceptance at the same rate.
ReplyDeleteI think denial lasted for all of 1 hour for me; bargaining for 5 minutes!
When a loved one contracts a terminal illness, there is often time for family members (and the patient) to go through all five stages. Even so, the brother who is is still in denial might argue with the sister who is already in acceptance.
Hugs and prayers,
Leslee